New sewing machine: Nooo I need software updates.
My 1904 Singer 15: Just put your back into treadling, I can sew through more layers than you dare to attempt and I will still sew through them when the sun burns out if you remember to oil me
My digital watch from like 2004: perma-dead. You think a new battery will help? It laughs at your pain. It mocks your futile scrambling. Nothing can bring it back
My pocket watch from 1872: tick tock bitch